Take the Bionic assessment test hosted by NBC for the launch of “Bionic Woman” starting September 26 (and viewable on the Internet shortly thereafter, no doubt). I scored a measly 25%, but then again, it is quite late…

Here’s the test.

No matter what the definition of smeg might be according to Urban Dictionary, these are still pretty damn fine looking fridges. Perfect for installing your freshly produced Amstel lager.

Ahhhhhh…bring on summer.

I can’t wait until the annual Auto Africa show starts featuring some of these puppies…the Japanese once again lead the way.

See more images at senakablog.

There’s an alarming trend spreading across the globe, but mainly emanating from the USA, for celebrities to put on their absolute worst behaviour in order to garnish extra publicity.

Britney Spears is probably the best example of a brand gone very wrong. Her strategy, if it exists, is to outdo the Hollywood brat club (jailbird Paris Hilton, pregnant-by-a-rockstar Nicole Ritchie, what-next Lindsay Lohan et al) and just completely create havoc with her reputation. Britney has gone from teen role model to utter skank and in the process has dragged her name through the mud. But has it damaged her brand equity?

We the tabloid-loving public are gobbling it all up like pigs at a trough, and in the process the producers of celebrity tv shows and publishers of trash magazines are enjoying the boom.

How long will this strategy last? Will we soon tire of Britney’s escapades? Or will she come up with some new level of unimaginable sensation for us to devour?

Will Britney, in her current form, be offered work in Hollywood? Very likely. Will she stop selling records? Definitely not.

Will we as a human race look back and say “This was our finest hour”?

Picture it. Mars, 2020. You have been selected to be brand manager for Coca Cola, Mars Division. You step out of the spaceport and are greeted by your travel pod driver, a green creature half your height and with one eye. No nose. No mouth.

It turns out, due to some terrible glitch in marketing research, that someone has overlooked the fact that Martians have no sense of smell, and no taste buds. They imbibe through a rather rude suction organ located somewhere fiendishly strategic – eating and drinking is purely functional and gives them no pleasure whatsoever.

You’re on Mars. Selling Coca Cola. To Martians who will never “Taste the real thing.”

What do you do?

You set up a Pepsi vs Coke taste test, thinking “Hey, if it worked on Earth, it’s gotta be sensational here”. Martians, it turns out, have a sense of humour, and the test subjects, having taken a swig from your polystyrene cups, reverse their suction devices, showering you in a spray of “The taste of a new generation” as well as “The real thing.”

Plan B. You think back to your old marketing text books. Chapter four. Sell the benefits, not the features. You look around you, wondering what benefits a tasteless (sic) Martian will get from fizzy sugar water. No taste buds, no real thing.

Life-sustaining refreshment? Well, those Martian polar caps ARE actually made of ice, and it is clear that Martians, like people, will soon die without H2O. Refreshment on Mars, as on Earth, comes from WATER.

Caffeine makes Martians cranky (you find out the hard way). And sugar just makes Martians fall over. No benefits there…

You remember reading on the Internet somewhere that Coca Cola used to contain cocaine. That was so 1800s…You ponder the effects of cocaine on a Martian and shudder. You stop that train of thought immediately.

You also read somewhere that Coca Cola was originally green – that would have suited Martians quite nicely, but you have HUMAN Coca Cola to sell, so no luck there.

You’ve had it with this miserable red planet. In disgust, you throw a bottle of Coke against a nearby rock. It breaks and the black stuff pours out onto the rich Martian soil. As the Coca Cola seeps into the soil, the earth (Earth on Mars! On Mars this “earth” should probably called “mars”) starts to bubble and foam, leaving a six foot deep hole. You step back in wonder. Your brain ticks over.

Feature: Coca Cola is to Mars soil as a soldering iron is to marshmallows.

Benefit: Make holes fast.

Target market: Miners, construction workers, gardeners and undertakers.

You email Earth headquarters and place an order for 50 billion litres.

Now, if you could just get that damn dynamic ribbon device copyrighted on Mars…

Sawubona!

Marketers and other folk, if you live in South Africa and can’t speak Zulu (like me)then you need to learn or you’ll be missing out on speaking to a vast section of the population.

MiTV has launched a project that is trying to teach 1 million South Africans to speak Zulu in 8 weeks. It’s not impossible. Just follow the easy videos and practice.

Thanks to Fuzigish for the cool tunes

China sells electronics and other manufactured goods to the US (1 container per second reaches US soil, round the clock) and in return imports raw materials like scrap paper and metal from the US to be used in manufacturing.

James Fallows’ very interesting self-narrated slide show demonstrates how Chinese culture is geared towards faster, cheper manufacturing, and the strong work ethic displayed in China. It also shows the vast scale of manufacturing evident especially in Shenzhen:

http://www.theatlantic.com/slideshows/made-in-china/ 

Google Adwords tutorials:

http://www.google.com/adwords/learningcenter/index.html

Other good reading:

http://adwords.blogspot.com
http://www.ysmblog.com

And take a look at:

http://www.gordonchoi.com/

Don’t say you didn’t know.

I was sitting at my desk at work today, flipping spreadsheets, and casually browsing Facebook, when I read the status of a Facebook friend and work colleague that said “Attila is not feeling well and has gone home to bed”. OK, I thought, Attila has gone home.  It was then that I realized the impact Facebook is making even in the work environment (productivity questions set aside) - I found out through Facebook that a friend and colleague that sits 5 desks away was ill and had gone home.

What is to become of us all?

For those addicts who are annoyed/sweating/experiencing palpitations that Facebook is down AGAIN today, you can log in without any hassle by going directly to http://www.facebook.com/login.php.

Just don’t add me as your friend.